Do Not Forsake Your Girlies
Spending time with your girlfriends is essential! You were created for community. You were designed to be a part of something bigger than yourself. You are meant to go through life with your tribe, circle, group, and coterie.
But how do you maintain those connections when you are not at your best?
Thank goodness, our world was designed knowing that we would go through life with ups and downs, sometimes feeling our best and sometimes not functioning at 100%.
As women, we are all too familiar with the down times. I’m thinking, specifically, of that monthly Premenstrual Tension (PMT) or the more severe Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) or, for those of us past childbearing age, Menopause. We can get stuck to the point where the symptoms that rage through our bodies affect everything in our day-to-day existence.
For those reading this who don’t struggle with the symptoms associated with your reproductive cycle, you can still identify with headaches, body aches, dry or oily skin, stress, digestive issues, and all the other things that just about everyone on the planet has experienced at one point or another.
Many of you struggle to find places of acceptance. Let’s face it; female friendships are hard. Many of you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. I get it, as I have felt like that most of my life, and many of the women I speak to feel the same. But, if you don’t feel fellowship and connection, it’s usually a much deeper issue than I don’t belong here and now.
When we are born, we have three basic needs:
- To be loved
- To be safe
- To belong
These needs are confirmed or impaired in the first five years within your family of origin: first by your mother figure and then by your father figure. This is not about blaming anyone but understanding what causes us to feel like we don’t belong.
If you do not have a feeling of connection or fellowship within our family of origin during your formative years, your needs may be impaired. The lack of connection could be physical or emotional: Maybe your mother wasn’t physically present (working mom), or your parents were neglectful. Either way, those first five years are critical for setting you up for how you will move through your life, what you believe about yourself, and how you interact with others.
I believe in community. Walking beside each other, building each other up, and holding each other accountable are vital for moving forward with strength and power. However, I know that not every relationship feels safe. Many of you have been burned, scorned, ridiculed, and hurt by the women in your lives, making close female bonds elusive.
Community is important for your personal growth and development.
What can you do if you find connection is elusive and feel like you do not belong?
First, check in with yourself.
We tend to attract people who vibrate at the same energetic frequency as ourselves. If we believe that community is not for us, then the community will never be for us. What we think and believe radiates outward to those around us, and if negativity is where you reside, negativity will come in. If, however, you can shift your thoughts and beliefs, you’ll be able to invite positivity, and community will happen.
Second, tap into the tools around you.
Thankfully, when our world came into existence, a natural remedy sprung out of the soil before we took our first step as humans. Botanical medicine existed before we ever needed its intervention.
